Bill Bird

Exit polls, Number 10 and not so shocking resignations!

Bill Bird

Good day all, Bill here.

Well, what a few days it has been – even my pigeons don’t know if they are coming or going!

Talk about The General Election 2015 gripping the nation (although some of the politicians seems to have lost their own grip on things .. eh Mr Miliband?)

Did you see the faces of those MPs who lost their seat on Thursday night – doing their best not to look like they were sucking on a Jellyatrics Sour!

Election campaigns have really moved on since I was a young chappy, nowadays in the weeks running up to an election you are genuinely bombarded for your vote! TV, radio, social media, newspapers…we’ve come along from picket boards on the village green that’s for sure!

I tell you, if the ballot papers themselves weren’t confusing enough for some oldies like me – then the BBC’s interactive coverage took it to a whole new level – I thought for one minute Jeremy Vine had been voted Prime Minister and already moved into Number 10, what with that shot of him in ‘Downing Street’.

As for that jigsaw map, all that tiling would have played havoc with my knees!Sophie Rayworth (1)

I did however have a funny thought that all those lovely people in Scotland had probably been voting for me – well, most of the country is now yellow after all!

So, with a few gaps in the political jobs market … it got me thinking which of my jelly friends would be able to fill the shoes of those who have a little more time on their hands as from this week!

 

Not cheerful enough to be a ‘Kipper!

Well, they say a week in politics is a long time and they’re not kidding! First he was going to resign and take a break from politics, and now he’s not. He’s still got plenty to smile about that ole Nigel Farage hasn’t he?

At one point the jelly jury suggested our very own Mister Miser step in – and maybe even go for the leadership (despite not ever being able break into that trademark Farage smile!)

It came as no surprise that he votes UKIP, their promise to honour the Military is right up his street! Apparently he was a Sgt Major!

Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for supporting our service men but it has to be more than a coincidence that he supports a party that uses a pound sign as its logo! If you ask me there is more chance of him opening his wallet than UKIP ever coming into power!

I can imagine his anger that despite millions of votes UKIP have only won one seat!

 

Our own iron lady

Frau’s been a Tory all her life; their pledge to create same day GP appointments for the over-75s nearly caused her to raise a smile! However, she has been grinning from ear to ear since the news that the Cam-Back Kid David Cameron is back in number 10!

Lets hope they continue the free bus pass for pensioners, as the old dear has nearly walked the wheels of her metal frame! Quite an observation if you ask me… not that I would dare say that to the baroness herself!

 

Oh Balls!

It was no surprise that Benny and Frau would butt heads over politics – talk about our very own Ed Miliband and Nicola Sturgeon!

Working class Benny is naturally in favour of Labour’s policies, although I think he is probably seeing red for all the wrong reasons following some of those results. I heard him cry ‘Oh Balls’ from his armchair – but thought at the time he’d got a hole in his string vest.

Similarly to Benny, Mr Miliband causes no shortage of cringe-worthy moments – but unlike Ed, Benny’s often causing them for other people rather than himself.

 

Sitting on the fence?

Always one to be fair and open, dear old Pearl supports democracy…obviously. She feels strongly about the Lib Dems free child care promise and is confident her role as family babysitter will soon be terminated – I think she’s spoken too soon!

Her soft spot for Nick Clegg or Nicky as she likes to call him, may have swayed her vote! Apparently he looks good in green as well as the Lib Dem yellow, so she’s currently knitting him a string vest, which is ironic really as according to the Independent his political career is hanging by a thread!

 

Forever green

As this is my blog let me share with you my thoughts… despite being clearly yellow, I’ve always been green at heart!

Whilst protecting the planet from climate change may seem like a load of nonsense, I would like to bring this issue closer to home for you. Step in my shoes if you will… as a keen gardener living in this great country we call Britain, I am constantly faced with one issue – the weather! Which is why The Green Party’s pledge to improve flood defences is very important to me!

A few weeks ago in the April showers, two of my beloved gnomes fell into my garden pond; it was a distressing time for all and causes horrible flashbacks from the football incident! The little said about that the better! Anyway, with the Green Party’s investment in flood defences, I pledge to build a higher wall around my pond to stop this ordeal happening again!

All for now folks!

Bill.