Good day all,
Frau Zimmer here, I suppose I better start by wishing you all a Happy New Year, good health and all that. If only I could be so lucky, I’m now onto my 13th Zimmer frame, yes 13! Very unlucky for some – me included. This time however I can assure you my neighbours’ nitwit child is fully to blame, leaving her blasted skipping rope on the path resulting in me tripping down the curb and snapping the leg of my beloved. Bah, kids – who’d have them!!
Note to self – New Year, new Zimmer frame! This one will survive the whole of 2015, I am certain of it!
In my opinion New Year resolutions are sappy, just an excuse for a new start on old habits, but my trusted friends at the NHS suggested Top 10 goal setting tips which I intend to ‘give a go’ in order to keep myself and my shiny new Zimmer frame in good health.
If it’s broken…fix it!
It can often be said that old folk are stuck in their ways, whilst I would normally challenge any elderly stereotype; there is no doubt some of my fellow Jellyatrics could do with some fine-tuning this year.
After years of keeping one’s eye on them, I have become wise to their ways and formed educated opinions. I have therefore taken it upon myself to set each of them a New Year’s resolution…
Mr Benny Dorm
I think it’s high time Benny cuts out the drinking. As much as I’m partial to half a Weizenbier, that man’s drinking is doing no justice for his poor liver and ever growing belly! When I suggested this should be his focus for the New Year, he suggested two things back; the first was that I should do my research as beer can be nutritious and the second, well that response was simply bad mannered.
New Year’s resolution: Drink less beer!
Mr Bill Bird, what to say about him? It’s hard to find a bad word to say, or in fact one at all, for he is what is commonly known as an introvert. Whilst the people on his street may wish he stepped down from his position as neighbourhood watch, I personally admire his ability to stand (equipped with binoculars in place) and ‘keep watch’ for such long periods of the day. I propose that Bill’s resolution should be to learn how to make friends and spread his conversational wings with people other than his birds, gnomes and us!
New Year’s resolution: Be more confident and make new friends
Someone who always has plenty to say, but little to give is my dear companion Mister Mister. Whether it’s his money or his time, he has little desire to part with either. He insisted on walking me to the doctors last week, (kind I know) but I insisted he go home after he burst into a brisk march, commanding that I kept up the pace! That man needs to slow down, change his ways or put his energy into something more constructive. He should check out these fellow compatriots featured in the Daily Telegraph this week who have bundles of positive energy. I can just picture Mister Miser in a leotard!
New Year’s resolution: Use your time more wisely
Pearl, dear Pearl. Friend to all, the apple of many admiring male eye, who’s inability to ‘put her foot down’ is enough to drive anyone, including me, up the wall. Whilst I often humour her and sometimes envy her loving family, she needs to knit herself a backbone and say ‘no’ to some of the of babysitting demands that come her way. OAPs are far too busy having fun to spend our days babysitting. Surely no one actually believes, “That’s what grandparents are for?” Not that I can comment.
New Year’s resolution: Learn to say no!
2015, another year…older
Whilst my skin maybe heading south and my legs can’t keep up with my body, getting older at my age is a relief… when you consider the alternative.
I may jeer at my fellow Jellyatrics but I do (secretly) value our friendship, I believe it’s been the best medicine for our long life! As we head towards our one-hundredth birthday, we have more than just a telegraph from the Queen to look forward to. For one, we still have most of our marbles and two, we are all still pretty much mobile (just)!
If I could be forthcoming in suggesting a resolution for your good self this year, it would be to follow the advice of the Royal Voluntary Service and help out an older, lonely person near you. Not everyone has the pleasure of having Jellyatrics for friends. And by God, it’s a lot of fun!